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<title>“Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art-“ by Writer_From_The_Stars</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450410">“Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art-“</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_From_The_Stars/pseuds/Writer_From_The_Stars'>Writer_From_The_Stars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Alice by Heart - Sheik/Sater/Sater &amp; Nelson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I hate having almost no content for this fandom so I guess I’m gonna have to come in clutch, Inspired by Poetry, John Keats - Freeform, Romantic Fluff, Tldr; Alfred lives and Alice is happy, Touch-Starved, especially not my Babey boy Alfred dangit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:15:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450410</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_From_The_Stars/pseuds/Writer_From_The_Stars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alfred finds peace in a girl who believes in Wonderland.</p>
<p>The poem used in this fic is called “Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art-“ by John Keats. I thought the poem was a good compliment to their relationship on the stage, so I wanted to combine the two.<br/>Hope you enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice Spencer/Alfred Hallam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>“Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art-“</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art-“</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His fever broke a week ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By some star-studded miracle, the tuberculosis left him. After what seemed to be ages and ages of bloody napkins, last-wills-and-testaments being written, and the constant tick of a clock counting down in his mind, it left him. He would remember the exact hour that his fever broke for the rest of his life; how he had woken up as if from an endless nightmare drenched in sweat, feeling his gasps for breath fill every inch of his lungs, the chills and fires and aches a half distant memory, and most of all how Alice had sobbed with relief into his shoulder until the sun rose, and broke every part of his heart. He was weary, so weary he thought he might never be the same man he was before the sickness had settled in him, but he was breathing, he was crying, he was laughing, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not in lone splendor hung aloft the night</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And watching, with eternal lids apart,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Like nature’s patient, sleepless Eremite,”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had never known someone like Alice before in his life. Just how had this girl come to him during what seemed the end of his sad and miserable existence and changed everything still marveled him to this day. He loved how she could bring stories to life with just her very words, her flights of fancy (even if they did sometimes come at inopportune times,) and how she breathed sunlight and life into the worst of places. He remembered how homely and (dare he say it,) comfortable she made that godforsaken bunker feel. The thing he was sure he loved the most about her was how much like home she felt to him. Sure, people weren’t things to make homes out of, but God, being with her just made it so easy to. And why shouldn’t he? Shouldn’t he be with the person he loves with all his heart and soul? All his waking nights and days were filled with her; the feeling of her brown locks in his hands, the sound of her singing voice clear as a lark in his ears, the way her whole face lit up as she smiled in his eyes, the warmth of her love (her love for him!!!) in his heart. He wondered for hours and hours on end just what amazing and righteous deed he had done to deserve such a wonderful girl like her in his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“The moving waters at their priestlike task</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores,”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The war was over. Hitler took the cowards way out and the Allied Forces had firmly stamped the Nazi regime out of Europe. The sheer enormity of the situation hadn’t come at a better time. After Alfred was cleared from the hospital, he and Alice went to gather (stole) what little belongings they had left at the bunker and make a run for it. Alice only stopped long enough to bid a tearful goodbye to Tabitha, with long and ardent promises to send each other letters by the day. From there, they went deep into the countryside and found an abandoned farmstead “with much want for a couple such as us,” as Alice had remarked at the time. After they had settled in, and secured some meager ways to get food and money, they found that if they had gotten married tomorrow it couldn’t change how happy they both were. Out there, they could almost forget they had ever been in a war, and Alfred could almost forget the anguish and misery he had felt when he was dying of tuberculosis. And yet, all they had faced and lived through still had its tight claws in them. Alfred had shrieking nightmares more times than he had fingers, clawing at his neck and half-tasting the blood on his tongue. And yet, and yet who would be there to hold him through all his fears but Alice? Dear, sweet, strong Alice, holding him close against her chest, brushing her lips against his forehead as if she was praying, hands tracing ferns and feathery patterns onto his shoulders, and lulling him to sleep with the beat of her heart and the slow tide of her breathing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Of snow upon the mountains and the moors-“</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had a particularly disturbing nightmare the night before. The Queen of Hearts had finally caught him, put him on trial, and executed him, ripping his heart out for all of Wonderland to see. It had left him so shaken up that even in the quiet dusk he still trembled against Alice as she read her familiar story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear rabbit, what ever is the matter? Does something trouble you?” Alice had said, laying her book down and taking his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. The nightmare, it- oh Alice, I’m sorry, I stopped you at the best part-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred, don’t you ever apologize for something like that. I know this book like the back of my hand. Please, love,” she said, placing her hand gently on his cheek,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“tell me what you saw. We made a promise that night we left the bunker that we would never hide anything from each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred sighed, moving closer beside her and pressing a soft kiss into the palm of her hand, “I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when it happened, it had- had just scared me so. The Queen of Hearts had put me on- on trial for being extremely late, and she was so angry, Alice. I haven’t ever seen her so mad. She- she executed me, ripped my heart out of my chest and it </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it hurt so much, and all I remember was seeing you there, and- and- and you were crying and screaming and I wanted to go to you and tell you everything was alright, b- but I was dying and I couldn’t do any- anything to stop it, I couldn’t, I-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alice didn’t need to hear anymore. She pulled Alfred into her arms just as the tears began to flow, and her heart shattered at the way he buried his face into her shoulder, ashamed of his own tears. She held him there, running her fingers through his chestnut hair, until the tears subsided into sniffles, and he could pull himself away from her without sobbing. She hated to see him so; the red and puffy eyes reminded her of her time in the bunker, and how the hopeless look in Alfred’s sallow eyes had driven her to tears some nights.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No - yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Pillowed upon my fair love’s ripening breast,”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My dear oh dear white rabbit, I would die before I let anyone hurt you. Do you understand?” she whispered, cupping his face in her hands and kissing him on his forehead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let out a shaky sigh and pressed his forehead against hers, letting out a quiet “yes” against her cheek. The feeling of her hands rubbing up and down his back was nothing short of intoxicating, and the collar of his shirt was suddenly a lot tighter than it had been when he came out there. Alice seemed to recognize this shift in him and pulled away only an inch, only to look him in his beautiful hazel eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfred,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused, then started working at the buttons on his shirt. Normally this would awaken the March Hare in him, but he found that he was longing for a deeper sort of satisfaction, something that only her love could bring out in him. She knew that Alfred craved physical touch as deeply as he would crave food and water, and she sought to give him that, peeling away his shirt and letting her hands wander on his chest. Almost immediately he melted into her arms, burying his face into the crook of her neck and wrapping his arms around her waist as her hands traveled up and down his bare shoulders, tracing each rib underneath his arms, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. She took her time in exploring him, mapping out each and every exposed area of skin on him, finding the tense knots in his shoulders and rubbing them out. He couldn’t stop himself from letting out a moan against her neck as she massaged all his fears and anxieties out of him, leaving him feeling both electrified and sleepy all at the same time. When he moaned again, she gave off a small tremble of her own, and cupped his face with her hands again. His half-lidded eyes met hers and he swore that he could hear angels singing from the heavens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alfie,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Drink me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against hers, trying to pour the love and longing he had felt in his heart for her all this time into this one glorious kiss. Her lips were as soft and plush as silk and he found himself falling deeper and deeper into them. Alice’s tongue brushed against his bottom lip and he moaned, deepening the kiss, tasting honey and black currant tea and something he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> was her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They parted only when they needed air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alice hugged Alfred tightly as if he would dissolve into smoke right in front of her. He could feel their bounding heartbeats in both their chests, thundering like a far-off storm. They simply held each other like that, breathing each other in like the last breaths of air either of them would ever be able to take. Once he was finally able to catch his breath Alfred cupped her face in his hands and kissed her all over, pressing prayer like kisses to her forehead, then to her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her lips, whispering, “Alice, Alice, my Alice.” In each kiss, he thanked God over and over again for giving him this girl, this wonderful, angelic blessing of a girl to hold and love for the rest of his days. He had to blink furiously to keep himself from bawling again, but he couldn’t stop a few tears from falling when Alice pressed her forehead against his.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, my dear white rabbit,” she murmured, holding him close to her and burying her hands in his unbelievably soft hair. He sighed for the last time, feeling a familiar warm, hazy weariness settle in his bones. Alice noticed this too and leaned back, cradling Alfred against her chest as she laid him down in the flowers. He suddenly found it much harder to keep his eyes open as Alice gently began stroking his face with her fingers, feeling the thrum in her chest as she hummed a sweet summer tune.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rest my love, you are safe with me,” she breathed beside his ear, and Alfred reveled in the feeling of Alice pressing butterfly-soft kisses on his forehead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alfred slept deeper than he ever had in three years, with the scent of the wildflowers around him and Alice kissing his face softly, softly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“And so live ever - or else swoon to death.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I should write at midnight more often, I’m liking this</p></blockquote></div></div>
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